Saturday, March 31, 2007
Cricket World Cup
CWC: What will be its legacy?
How's your CWC?
Cricket fans in the Caribbean and around the world
have had lots to talk about in the ongoing Cricket
World Cup. Attendance, the cost of tickets, rain,
murder, key teams getting knocked out by minnows,
and the rise and rise of Ireland are topics that dominate
much of the CWC conversations.
And although the field of possible winners has been
narrowed, the contest is still wide open.
What do you think about CWC, so far?
HAVE YOUR SAY
CWC: Some issues so far
Home fans have not had much to cheer about with
West Indies now struggling to make the semi-finals
of the Cricket World Cup. Attendance has been a
concern: some governments have had to resort to
rather creative solutions to pull in the crowds.
Some fans have complained that the cost of tickets
is too high. The murder of Pakistan's coach Bob
Woolmer has cast a dark cloud over the tournament.
There's been quite some real rain at some games: the
West Indies one-day match against Australia was
actually played over two days. (The Windies lost.)
Pakistan and India have been knocked out of the
tournament. Fans back home were not happy to say
the least. Ireland (Irie-land to some West Indians),
considered a rank outsider, have not only won games,
the team from the Emerald Isle have also won over the
hearts of many West Indians - especially in Jamaica and
Montserrat (the other Emerald Isle).And an overweight
cricketer from Bermuda has become an overnight sensation.
Yard Talk
Bless
Thursday, March 29, 2007
Humor
Once there was a prostitute who had
three different rates based on the
following three conditions:
1) $100.00 to do it on the grass.
2) $200.00 to do it on a couch.
3) $300.00 to do it in the bed.
In the morning a British bloke walks in
and slaps a $100 note on the table.
So they went out and did it on the grass.
Soon, an American fellow walks in and
slaps a $200 note on the table. So they
head for the couch and did it there. About
the end of the day, a Jamaican man walks in
and slaps $300 on the table. Happy from seeing
the money the prostitute says, "Wow, you have
class". The Jamaican responds,
"Class mi rass; three times pon de grass!!"
TALK ABOUT GETTING VALUE FOR YOUR MONEY! HAHAHA!
Yard Talk
Bless
three different rates based on the
following three conditions:
1) $100.00 to do it on the grass.
2) $200.00 to do it on a couch.
3) $300.00 to do it in the bed.
In the morning a British bloke walks in
and slaps a $100 note on the table.
So they went out and did it on the grass.
Soon, an American fellow walks in and
slaps a $200 note on the table. So they
head for the couch and did it there. About
the end of the day, a Jamaican man walks in
and slaps $300 on the table. Happy from seeing
the money the prostitute says, "Wow, you have
class". The Jamaican responds,
"Class mi rass; three times pon de grass!!"
TALK ABOUT GETTING VALUE FOR YOUR MONEY! HAHAHA!
Yard Talk
Bless
Rastafarian wins Miss Ja Universe title
Zahra Redwood created history Sunday night when
she became the first Rastafarian to be crowned Miss
Jamaica Universe. The coronation took place at the
Hilton Kingston hotel, New Kingston.
- Winston Sill/Freelance Photographer
Miss Jamaica Universe 2007, Zahra Redwood, made
history on Sunday night at the Hilton Kingston
hotel in New Kingston.
Redwood, 25, is the first Rastafarian to win the
competition and will move on to represent Jamaica
in the international finals in Mexico on May 28.
Said Redwood following her historic victory: "I was
just in absolute awe. I was elated, I was overwhelmed;
it's a feeling I've never felt before, so everything that
I'm saying is just a mere approximation to the emotions
I was going through at that time."
She added: "I was just in awe and I guess it showed
on-stage because I didn't even shed a tear or anything.
I was really happy. It's like 'oh my gosh, the dream has
finally come to reality'."
Sanique Vacciana copped the prize for 'Best Smile',
Tiffany Smile, for 'Best In Gown', Stacy Ann Kirlew won
the 'Best in Swim Suit' prize, while Zahra won the 'Most
Congenial' and 'Most Aware' prizes.
The top five were Tiffany Smile, Sydonie McBane,
Marsha-Gaye Reynolds, Redwood and Sanique Vacciana.
As the proclamation came over the system, 'Zahra Redwood,
Miss Jamaica 2007!' an African song played softly in the
background and Cindy Wright, Miss Jamaica Universe 2006,
balanced the large diamond crown on Miss Redwood's
pinned locks.
Yard Talk
Bless
Internet Scams "The SCAMMER"
They are every where these days on the internet.
SCAMMERS ...they will tell u anything to get your
paper..Please beware of the scammer, they are
ready and waitig with that BS they push...
almost, well not really, but a scammer tried to tell
me to send money for a puppy over the internet.
They agreed to ship this animal to me all i had to
pay was the freight costs. SCAMM... OK who in there
right mind would ship and domestic pet like that for
such a long time. Please...
more to come on the scammer
SCAMMERS ...they will tell u anything to get your
paper..Please beware of the scammer, they are
ready and waitig with that BS they push...
almost, well not really, but a scammer tried to tell
me to send money for a puppy over the internet.
They agreed to ship this animal to me all i had to
pay was the freight costs. SCAMM... OK who in there
right mind would ship and domestic pet like that for
such a long time. Please...
more to come on the scammer
Richie Spice
The 5th Element Recording artiste Richie Spice was on a tour to promote his VP Records/Fifth Element Records album "In The Streets to Africa". Released in February, the album is getting rave reviews. The March 2007 issue of Playboy Magazine gave it 4 stars saying, "...... Spice offers an exception to the slackness and hyperactivity of dancehall. One of the best roots releases in years."
Promoting the album, Spice performed at Zanzibar in Washington DC to a crowd of over 1,000 on Friday, February 16th and the Raggamuffin Festival on Long Beach in Los angeles, California for over 10'000 people the following day. On Tuesday, February 20th , Spice had an in store appearance at the FYE in Torrence, L.A, where hundreds of fans waited patiently for a chance to have Spice sign their copy of "In The Streets To Africa". Spice then travelled to New York for more in store promotions and to appear at Irie Jam on February 23rd and Caribbean Culture Week the following day. Over the weekend he was in Grenada to perform at Tempo's "Got Tempo" at the drive cinema on March 3rd .
The title of the album highlights the struggles as well as the business options that are available within the African continent. Spice plans to tour Africa for the first time in 2007. The righteous artiste returned home last weekend.
Monday, March 26, 2007
Kid Robot...
Introducing Kidrobot's own super tech shell!
Made from our own waterproof, nylon, stretch 'Robotex'
(thats right it stretches!), this innovative shell jacket is
designed to keep the elements out. The hood actually
muffles sound! Of course, these garments are limited
edition and each one has the number and edition
embroidered on the inside!
The Kidrobot 23 Shell features full mesh lining, contrasting
dunny print hood lining and plackets, contrasting cord locks
and heavy duty YKK zippers. It has shoulder pockets, sleeve
pockets, stash pockets and more to keep all your gear safe
and dry. The hood is a five piece darted construction with two
way cord tensioners for a better, snugger fit. Plus these
jackets have ribbed armpit gussets for extra mobility.
Function has never been so stylish!
Just in time for April showers, the Kidrobot 23 Shell is limited
to only 96 per color so act quickly!
Webkinz
Webkinz - Winner of the Toy Industry Association
Specialty Toy of the Year!
Webkinz pets are lovable plush pets that each come with a
unique Secret Code. With it, you enter Webkinz World where
you care for your virtual pet, answer trivia, earn KinzCash,
and play the best kids games on the net!
Find Webkinz in Stock at Specialty Retailers!
- Also available from 3rd party sellers at Amazon for a variety
of prices, see below. And of course at ebay too.
- Some of the hot selling Webkins animals include Webkinz
Black Lab, Webkinz Bulldog, Webkinz Googles Duck, Webkinz Cats,
Webkinz Tree Frog, Webkinz Rabbitl, and Webkinz Dogs!
We have products from several retailers but they sell out fast so
grab it if you want it!
Saturday, March 24, 2007
FREE JAH CURE
Barring any breaches of prison rules over the next four months, Jah Cure
and his many fans will get what they have longed for, the reggae singer's
release.JAH CURE. could perform on Reggae Sunsplash
Major Richard Reese, who heads the Correctional Services Department,
said on Friday that the singer is due to see the inside of a cell at the
Tower Street Adult Correctional Centre in Kingston for the last time in July.
"If he doesn't commit any institutional breaches he will be released,
" Reese told the Sunday Observer. Jah Cure, whose real name is Sycatore
Alcock, was found guilty of robbery, rape and illegal possession of a
firearm and was sentenced to 13 years in prison in 1998. He served the
first part of his sentence at the St Catherine Adult Correctional Centre,
but was transferred to the Tower Street Adult Correctional Centre after
he was held with what prison officials described as 'contraband'.
Word on the street was that Jah Cure was found in possession of
recording equipment and illicit drugs during a search of his cell.
Jah Cure also had an appeal against his conviction turned down
and was denied parole on two previous occasions.
During the trial, the court was told that the singer and an accomplice
held up two women and two men at gunpoint. The police said Alcock
and an accomplice chased the men away before robbing and raping
the two women on a dirt track in Montego Bay. Jah Cure was eventually
arrested and convicted but his accomplice, who it is alleged raped the
other woman in a pile of gravel, has never been brought to justice.
It is widely believed in law enforcement circles that the other man was
subsequently shot and killed by gunmen. If Alcock is released in late July,
he could perform on Reggae Sunsplash in early August. However, a source
close to the singer said Jah Cure was planning on organising a major
concert to celebrate his freedom.
Caribbean Fashion Week
In Kingston, Jamaica - June 6-10, 2007
Caribbean Fashionweek 2007 was launched on Monday February 12
at a glitzy reception in London, England, before a packed audience
of celebrities, diplomats, fashion designers, business executives,
financial sector representatives, press and supermodels. Organised
by Pulse, the producers of CFW and jointly hosted by Jamaica’s High
Commissioner to London, His Ecxellency Burchell Whiteman and
Pulse’s Chairman Kingsley Cooper, the launch attracted
representatives from the United Nations, The Office of the Mayor
of London, Catwalk The World, The Barbados mission to the United
Kingdom, other diplomats and prominent members of the London
community, including well known individuals from the Caribbean,
now resident in London.
Held at Prince Consort Street, in Kensington, the event was covered
by a wide range of press, including the BBC. In attendance were
supermodels Jaunel McKenzie and Nell Robinson; Deola Sagoe,
arguably Africa’s top fashion designer, His Excellency L Edwin Pollard,
High Commissioner from Barbados to the United Kingdom,
Dr Roli Degazon-Johnson of the Commonwealth Secretariat,
Pulse General Manager Romae Gordon, Tessa Sanderson,
CBE Antoinette Olivia, Sharei La’Mar, and Gavin Douglas all British
fashion designers. The models, including Mac campaign girl Nicola Gray,
showed off designs by Deola, The Mushroom, Mutamba and Biggy.
Cooper, in his address to those in attendance, outlined his vision for
the expansion of Caribbean Fashionweek to include a much greater
presence and participation by industry players from Europe, North
America, Africa and Latin America, and indicated that this was now
an ever increasing reality, given the commitments already received
for 2007. Confirming their participation while addressing the launch
were Deola Sagoe, whose designs, displayed on new age mannequins
at the launch, were a mouth watering auger of the collection she will
show at Caribbean Fashionweek in June; Gavin Douglas, who started
at Caribbean Fashionweek two years ago and who now shows at
London Fashion Week as well, Antoinette Olivia and several others.
In his address, Greg Barrow, Senior Public Affairs Officer at the
United Nations, outlined the UN’s recognition of Caribbean Fashionweek
as an important event on the international fashion calendar and
indicated the support of the UN’s World Food Programme for CFW.
He declared that the UN has now added Caribbean Fashionweek to
its agenda of official WFP events. The event can expect to benefit
from the presence of the UN’s celebrity ambassadors as well as members
of their roster of top ranking designers who support the work of the
World Food Programme’s Fashion for Food initiative. Matthew Mensah,
General Manager of Catwalk The World, also lauded CFW and indicated
that the Catwalk The World Project had formally entered into an alliance
with CFW and would be strongly represented at the event this year.
Rosemary Emodi, Business Affairs Manager of the Office of the Mayor of
London, commended Pulse on its work with the development of the creative
industries from the Caribbean, especially fashion, and announced a
partnership with Caribbean Fashionweek and the Mayor’s Office,
organizers of the Kulture to Couture project. She will lead a delegation of
British designers to CFW this year and will partly fund the participation of
Caribbean designers who appear on London’s Culture to Couture show later
in the year.
Caribbean Fashionweek 2007 was launched on Monday February 12
at a glitzy reception in London, England, before a packed audience
of celebrities, diplomats, fashion designers, business executives,
financial sector representatives, press and supermodels. Organised
by Pulse, the producers of CFW and jointly hosted by Jamaica’s High
Commissioner to London, His Ecxellency Burchell Whiteman and
Pulse’s Chairman Kingsley Cooper, the launch attracted
representatives from the United Nations, The Office of the Mayor
of London, Catwalk The World, The Barbados mission to the United
Kingdom, other diplomats and prominent members of the London
community, including well known individuals from the Caribbean,
now resident in London.
Held at Prince Consort Street, in Kensington, the event was covered
by a wide range of press, including the BBC. In attendance were
supermodels Jaunel McKenzie and Nell Robinson; Deola Sagoe,
arguably Africa’s top fashion designer, His Excellency L Edwin Pollard,
High Commissioner from Barbados to the United Kingdom,
Dr Roli Degazon-Johnson of the Commonwealth Secretariat,
Pulse General Manager Romae Gordon, Tessa Sanderson,
CBE Antoinette Olivia, Sharei La’Mar, and Gavin Douglas all British
fashion designers. The models, including Mac campaign girl Nicola Gray,
showed off designs by Deola, The Mushroom, Mutamba and Biggy.
Cooper, in his address to those in attendance, outlined his vision for
the expansion of Caribbean Fashionweek to include a much greater
presence and participation by industry players from Europe, North
America, Africa and Latin America, and indicated that this was now
an ever increasing reality, given the commitments already received
for 2007. Confirming their participation while addressing the launch
were Deola Sagoe, whose designs, displayed on new age mannequins
at the launch, were a mouth watering auger of the collection she will
show at Caribbean Fashionweek in June; Gavin Douglas, who started
at Caribbean Fashionweek two years ago and who now shows at
London Fashion Week as well, Antoinette Olivia and several others.
In his address, Greg Barrow, Senior Public Affairs Officer at the
United Nations, outlined the UN’s recognition of Caribbean Fashionweek
as an important event on the international fashion calendar and
indicated the support of the UN’s World Food Programme for CFW.
He declared that the UN has now added Caribbean Fashionweek to
its agenda of official WFP events. The event can expect to benefit
from the presence of the UN’s celebrity ambassadors as well as members
of their roster of top ranking designers who support the work of the
World Food Programme’s Fashion for Food initiative. Matthew Mensah,
General Manager of Catwalk The World, also lauded CFW and indicated
that the Catwalk The World Project had formally entered into an alliance
with CFW and would be strongly represented at the event this year.
Rosemary Emodi, Business Affairs Manager of the Office of the Mayor of
London, commended Pulse on its work with the development of the creative
industries from the Caribbean, especially fashion, and announced a
partnership with Caribbean Fashionweek and the Mayor’s Office,
organizers of the Kulture to Couture project. She will lead a delegation of
British designers to CFW this year and will partly fund the participation of
Caribbean designers who appear on London’s Culture to Couture show later
in the year.
Friday, March 23, 2007
Airline Humor
A guy sitting at an airport bar noticed a beautiful woman sitting next to
Him. He thought to himself, "Wow, she's so gorgeous she must be a Flight
Attendant; but which airline does she work for?"
Hoping to pick her up, he leaned towards her and said, "Love to fly and
it shows?"
She gave him a blank, confused stare and he immediately thought to
himself, ooh shit, she doesn't work for Delta.
A few seconds later, another slogan popped into his head. He leaned
towards her again, "Something special in the Air?"
She gave him the same confused look.
He mentally kicked himself, and scratched American Airlines off the
list..
Next he tried, "I would really love to fly your friendly skies?"
This time the woman barked at him "Man, what de bombo claat u want?"
The man smiled, then slumped back in his chair, "Ahhh, Air Jamaica".
Him. He thought to himself, "Wow, she's so gorgeous she must be a Flight
Attendant; but which airline does she work for?"
Hoping to pick her up, he leaned towards her and said, "Love to fly and
it shows?"
She gave him a blank, confused stare and he immediately thought to
himself, ooh shit, she doesn't work for Delta.
A few seconds later, another slogan popped into his head. He leaned
towards her again, "Something special in the Air?"
She gave him the same confused look.
He mentally kicked himself, and scratched American Airlines off the
list..
Next he tried, "I would really love to fly your friendly skies?"
This time the woman barked at him "Man, what de bombo claat u want?"
The man smiled, then slumped back in his chair, "Ahhh, Air Jamaica".
Thursday, March 22, 2007
The PostMillenial Black Madonna
Montego Bay, Jamaica - April 2006 - Irish and Chin, Inc. keeps the fire burning with their large scale sound clashes. Their World Clash series of events, which have become wildly popular over the past several years, attract thousands of people and continuously bring sound clash culture to the forefront.
On Easter Monday, April 17, 2006, Death Before Dishonor 6 is slated to take over Montego Bay. The clash, which is hosted by selector/artist Tony Matterhorn and radio/TV personality Jabba of Hot 97 and MTV Tempo, will entertain fans from all over the world at the outdoor marina Pier 1. Easily reigning as Jamaica’s most heavily attended sound clash, the annual competition will provide revelers with ultimate entertainment.
Sizzla Kalonji
When the name "Sizzla Kalonji" is mentioned in Reggae circles, it provokes an extreme response in all those present. Indeed, all who are not present but are familiar with Sizzla's prolific work nonetheless would be equally subject to that said extreme response if they should be present. That is the mark of a truly innovative individual whose name will undoubtedly stand the test of time due to the fact that the responses evoked by Sizzla's name and his music are of no consequence. The sole fact that the responses are extreme is the only issue at hand because that in itself signifies Sizzla's power to affect the reggae loving masses positively or negatively in a very potent way. Even those who are turned off by his message will have to admit that Sizzla is truly a gifted artist at the very least. On the other hand, those who are positively inspired by his music will claim that he is the "King of Reggae."
Woolmer strangled - New twist in death of Pakistan's cricket coach
Wednesday, March 21, 2007
Skull: Breaking Reggae Barriers
Korean reggae artist (yes, it does sound crazy), Skull, has been creating a crazy buzz for himself with his debut single, "Boom Di Boom Di." Even Mariah Carey says, "The song is really hot!" Maybe that's why Ballerstatus felt the need to highlight the young artist, or maybe it's because he is something out of the norm. Either way, we made it happen.
Skull has been described by DJ Bobcat as "Incredible, he defines what hip-hop Culture is all about!" And has garner rave reviews across the board, which in turn, brought the attention of Mariah Carey's brother Morgan Carey, who has been pushing Skull ever since.
article taken from ballerstatus.com
Yard Talk
Bless
Tuesday, March 20, 2007
THREE men branded as homosexuals
THREE men branded as homosexuals were yesterday rescued by the police
from an angry mob outside a pharmacy in Tropical Plaza, where they had
been holed up for almost an hour.
But even after the police managed to take the young men from the Monarch
Pharmacy, one of the three was hit with a stone, forcing officers to
fire tear gas on the crowd which included men, women, teenagers and
small children.
The approximately 2,000 people gathered outside the Kingston pharmacy
hurled insults at the three men, with some calling for them to be
killed.
The crowd grew larger as the minutes ticked by and the three men and
staff inside the pharmacy were visibly terrified as the mob demanded
that they be sent out so they could administer their brand of justice.
"Send them out!" shouted one man.
The men, who all had bleached-out faces, and dressed in tight jeans
pants and skimpy shirts, were saved due to quick action by police from
the St Andrew Central Division.
When the officers arrived and attempted to push the crowd back from the
front door of the businessplace they were greeted with some resistance
and when they attempted to escort the men to a police service vehicle,
which was parked near to the entrance of the pharmacy, one of the
alleged homosexuals was hit on the back of the head with a stone as he
flashed a wry smile before attempting to hustle inside the police car.
The cops were forced to disperse the large mob by dispensing tear gas
canisters and whisking the men away as the crowd scampered in all
directions in an effort to escape the irritating fumes.
One man in the crowd was determined to get a chance to beat them and
hurled insults at the police when they drove out of the premises.
"Unu can come save them nasty boy yah? Them boy yah fi go down," the man
bellowed.
One woman expressed surprise at the brazenness of the men who were
clearly displaying effeminate behaviour. "Jamaica has lost its way if
men think they can openly flaunt being gay without any consequences. We
don't want that kind of open gay life in this country," the woman said.
Homosexuality is frowned upon in Jamaica and gay rights groups have
constantly branded the island as anti-gay.
Under Jamaican law a male can be slapped with a sentence of up to nine
years if caught in a compromising position with another man.
from an angry mob outside a pharmacy in Tropical Plaza, where they had
been holed up for almost an hour.
But even after the police managed to take the young men from the Monarch
Pharmacy, one of the three was hit with a stone, forcing officers to
fire tear gas on the crowd which included men, women, teenagers and
small children.
The approximately 2,000 people gathered outside the Kingston pharmacy
hurled insults at the three men, with some calling for them to be
killed.
The crowd grew larger as the minutes ticked by and the three men and
staff inside the pharmacy were visibly terrified as the mob demanded
that they be sent out so they could administer their brand of justice.
"Send them out!" shouted one man.
The men, who all had bleached-out faces, and dressed in tight jeans
pants and skimpy shirts, were saved due to quick action by police from
the St Andrew Central Division.
When the officers arrived and attempted to push the crowd back from the
front door of the businessplace they were greeted with some resistance
and when they attempted to escort the men to a police service vehicle,
which was parked near to the entrance of the pharmacy, one of the
alleged homosexuals was hit on the back of the head with a stone as he
flashed a wry smile before attempting to hustle inside the police car.
The cops were forced to disperse the large mob by dispensing tear gas
canisters and whisking the men away as the crowd scampered in all
directions in an effort to escape the irritating fumes.
One man in the crowd was determined to get a chance to beat them and
hurled insults at the police when they drove out of the premises.
"Unu can come save them nasty boy yah? Them boy yah fi go down," the man
bellowed.
One woman expressed surprise at the brazenness of the men who were
clearly displaying effeminate behaviour. "Jamaica has lost its way if
men think they can openly flaunt being gay without any consequences. We
don't want that kind of open gay life in this country," the woman said.
Homosexuality is frowned upon in Jamaica and gay rights groups have
constantly branded the island as anti-gay.
Under Jamaican law a male can be slapped with a sentence of up to nine
years if caught in a compromising position with another man.
HUMOR "Aliens in JA"
There was this couple sitting on the porch in Westmoreland, Jamaica
watching the sun go down. All of a sudden this shooting light went
across the sunset.
Wife: "A wha dat?"
Husband: "A mus' one space ship."
Wife: "Spaceship???? You damn Eeediat!!"
A little while later the couple went back into the house. Suddenly there
was a knock on the door and the husband opened it. There was an alien
couple on the doorstep.
Alien Male: "Good evening, we come in peace. May we rest in your
dwelling while our space ship is fixed?" The husband's eyes almost
popped out of his head because the female alien had a WICKED body.
Husband: "Come een, come een. Of course you can come an' res' yuhself."
So the husband and wife fed and watered their guests and showed them to
their room for the night.
Male Alien: "Where we come from it is our tradition to swop partners
when we have guests." Well, the husband was up to it, because the female
alien was seriously turning him on with her looks.
Husband: "Well, dats alright with me."
Wife: "Oh, I don't know, because I don't really believe in dat kind of
t'ing."
Husband: "Come on honey, is only a lickle bit of fun, an nobody nuh
gwine know."
Wife: "Well, OK then."
The male alien takes the wife into his room, and, knowing that she
wasn't 100% comfortable with the idea, he was very gentle and gave her
plenty foreplay. When they got into the swing of things the male alien
asked, "would you like a bit more length?"
Wife: "Likkle more length,? hee! hee!, a wha yuh mean? How you gwine do
dat?"
So the alien twists his right ear, and presto!, his willy gets longer.
Well the wife was having a whale of a time when the Alien asked, "would
you like a bit more width?"
Wife: "Width! Well, OK then."
So the alien twists his left ear, and presto!, his willy gets fatter.
The following morning the wife wakes up with the biggest smile you can
imagine on her face and walks into the living room to find her husband
looking vex sitting on the sofa.
Wife: "Hello darling, did you have a good night last night?"
Husband: "Stuups ..... No! All night long di damn woman just deh deh a
twis up, twis up mi rass ears dem".
watching the sun go down. All of a sudden this shooting light went
across the sunset.
Wife: "A wha dat?"
Husband: "A mus' one space ship."
Wife: "Spaceship???? You damn Eeediat!!"
A little while later the couple went back into the house. Suddenly there
was a knock on the door and the husband opened it. There was an alien
couple on the doorstep.
Alien Male: "Good evening, we come in peace. May we rest in your
dwelling while our space ship is fixed?" The husband's eyes almost
popped out of his head because the female alien had a WICKED body.
Husband: "Come een, come een. Of course you can come an' res' yuhself."
So the husband and wife fed and watered their guests and showed them to
their room for the night.
Male Alien: "Where we come from it is our tradition to swop partners
when we have guests." Well, the husband was up to it, because the female
alien was seriously turning him on with her looks.
Husband: "Well, dats alright with me."
Wife: "Oh, I don't know, because I don't really believe in dat kind of
t'ing."
Husband: "Come on honey, is only a lickle bit of fun, an nobody nuh
gwine know."
Wife: "Well, OK then."
The male alien takes the wife into his room, and, knowing that she
wasn't 100% comfortable with the idea, he was very gentle and gave her
plenty foreplay. When they got into the swing of things the male alien
asked, "would you like a bit more length?"
Wife: "Likkle more length,? hee! hee!, a wha yuh mean? How you gwine do
dat?"
So the alien twists his right ear, and presto!, his willy gets longer.
Well the wife was having a whale of a time when the Alien asked, "would
you like a bit more width?"
Wife: "Width! Well, OK then."
So the alien twists his left ear, and presto!, his willy gets fatter.
The following morning the wife wakes up with the biggest smile you can
imagine on her face and walks into the living room to find her husband
looking vex sitting on the sofa.
Wife: "Hello darling, did you have a good night last night?"
Husband: "Stuups ..... No! All night long di damn woman just deh deh a
twis up, twis up mi rass ears dem".
Da Rasta WINS
Rastamam Poetry
The National Poetry Contest had come down to two, a Yale graduate and a
Jamaican rastaman. They were given a word, and then allowed two minutes
to study the word and come up with a poem that contained the word. The word
they were given was "Timbuktu".
First to recite his poem was the Yale graduate. He stepped to the
microphone and said:
Slowly across the desert sand, trekked a lonely caravan; Men on camels,
two by two, Destination Timbuktu.
The crowd went crazy! No way could the rastaman top that, they thought.
The rastaman calmly made his way to the microphone and recited:
Me and "Tim a huntin' went. Met three whores in a pop up tent. They was
three, and we was two, so I bucked one, and Timbuktu.
Rastaman win.
YARD TALK
Bless
The National Poetry Contest had come down to two, a Yale graduate and a
Jamaican rastaman. They were given a word, and then allowed two minutes
to study the word and come up with a poem that contained the word. The word
they were given was "Timbuktu".
First to recite his poem was the Yale graduate. He stepped to the
microphone and said:
Slowly across the desert sand, trekked a lonely caravan; Men on camels,
two by two, Destination Timbuktu.
The crowd went crazy! No way could the rastaman top that, they thought.
The rastaman calmly made his way to the microphone and recited:
Me and "Tim a huntin' went. Met three whores in a pop up tent. They was
three, and we was two, so I bucked one, and Timbuktu.
Rastaman win.
YARD TALK
Bless
Sunday, March 18, 2007
SLOW DOWN
ROADBLOCKRADIO.com
This is a Nice online reggae station. De outta NJ..
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Checkout www.roadblockradio.com
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